nightmare

I had a nightmare a few days ago. The first nightmare I had while I am at Singapore. In the dream, I saw father. He had fully recovered yet seem so different to me. I saw there are quarrels inside the house. I saw mother smashing glasses. They yell and scream at each other.

I saw my mother yelled at him.

“Don’t you remember how I take care of you when you sick!”

“pang!” Glasses smash to the floor.

Father just ignored her and continued grumbles some other things at his mouth, rather furious.

Then, I wake up. It took me a long time to get to slept again.

It scared me a lot. Ever since father get sicked, I really hoped that he will like regain consious. ( although at first I am sincere but get a bit numb to it later.) For instance, calling my name or some others….

It suddenly made me realise that after such a long time, I am not prepared for it. What kind of atitude towards him.

I don’t think he will feel happy if he know I am studying NUS now. (spending lots of money and getting all sorts of study loan.) I think he will be rather reluctant to spare his money to study at here. ( Haixxx…I am really indebted to uncle. I mean even if my father won’t gave me such a big amount of money to study here.) Father will definitely strongly disagree as expenses are rather high here. ( I hope that it is just my childish thought.)

He will be furious if he found out that mum had transferred several of his accounts money and financial share to her account as well as sold his car.I can’t imagine how ferocious he will be.

I think I am kind of scared to changes. All the negative thoughts.

Mum will not be pleased to find out my views.